ທ່ານ ຄຳຕັນ, ເປັນພໍ່ຂອງນາງ ຫົງແສງ ອາຍຸ 13 ປີ, ຮຽນຢູ່ໂຮງຮຽນໃນນະຄອນຫຼວງວຽງຈັນ. ຫົງແສງ ຫຼີ້ນໃຫ້ທີມເຜີ້ງນ້ອຍ. ທຸກຄັ້ງທີ່ມາຊ້ອມລູກສາວຂອງລາວກະໄດ້ມາບອກພໍ່ກ່ອນທຸກຄັ້ງເພື່ອເຮັດໃຫ້ພໍ່ສະບາຍໃຈ ໄດ້ຮູ້ວ່າຕົວເອງໄດ້ມາຊ້ອມກິລາແທ້. ລູກສາວຂອງລາວໄດ້ຫຼີ້ນມາ 2 ປີແລ້ວ ຕອນທຳອິດກ່ອນທີ່ລູກສາວຈະຫຼີ້ນໄດ້ມີເອກກະສານມາສະໝັກນັກກິລາ ແລະ ໄດ້ມີໃບອານຸຍາດຜູ້ປົກຄອງ ເພື່ອເຮັດໃຫ້ພໍ່ແມ່ຮັບຮູ້ວ່າລູກສາວສາມາດຫຼີ້ນກິລາຣັກບີ້ນີ້ໄດ້. ພໍ່ເລົ່າວ່າຕອນແລກພໍ່ກະຢ້ານລູກສາວເຈັບເພາະຄິດວ່າກິລາຣັກບີ້ມັນເປັນກິລາທີ່ໃຊ້ຄວາມຮຸນແຮງ ແລະ ເປັນກິລາຕຳກັນແຮງໆ ແຕ່ລູກກໍ່ໄດ້ມາບອກວ່າມັນບໍ່ໄດ້ຫຼີ້ນຕຳກັນເປັນຂັ້ນພື່ນຖານເທົ່ານັ້ນ. ລູກສາວກໍ່ມາຂໍຫຼີ້ນເພາະລູກສາວຢາກຫຼີ້ນແຮງພໍ່ກໍເລີຍຍອມໃຫ້ຫຼີ້ນ. ແຕ່ກ່ອນລູກຂອງຂ້ອຍໄດ້ຫຼີ້ນກິລາບານເຕະ ແລະ ຕີບານມາກ່ອນ, ແຕ່ມີຊ່ວງໝື່ງໄດ້ມີກິລາຣັກບີ້ເຂົ້າມາຈິ່ງເຮັດໃຫ້ລູກສາວຢາກລອງມາຫຼີ້ນເພາະຄິດວ່າເປັນກິລາທີ່ໃໝ່. ຫຼັງຈາກລູກໄດ້ຫຼີ້ນຣັກບີ້ແລ້ວ ລູກກໍ່ໄດ້ມາເລົ່າໃຫ້ຟັງກ່ຽວກັບການທີ່ໄປຮຽນໃຫ້ພໍ່ຟັງ ວ່າຊ້ອມກິລາຣັກບີ້ແລ້ວມາຄູຝືກໄດ້ສອນກ່ຽວກັບທັກສະຊີວິດ ໄດ້ມີການມານັ່ງລົມ ຫຼື ສົນທະນາກັນກ່ຽວກັບຫົວຂໍ້ທີ່ຄູຝືກໄດ້ສອນເວົ້າເຖິງການ ວາງແຜນອະນາຄົດຂອງຕົວເອງເຊັ່ນ: ໃຫ່ຍມາຢາກເປັນຫຍັງ, ຢາກຮຽນຫຍັງ ແລະ ມີແຜນໃນອານາຄົດແນວໃດ.”
ນັ້ນແມ່ນຄຳເວົ້າຂອງພໍ່ຄຳຕັນກ່ຽວກັບການມາຂໍອະນຸຍາດຫຼີ້ນຣັກບີ້ຂອງລູກສາວ. ປົກກະຕິແລ້ວ ພໍ່ຄຳຕັນກັບລູກສາວມີຫຍັງກໍ່ມັກລົມກັນ ແລະ ລູກສາວມີເລື່ອງຫຍັງກະຈະມັກເວົ້າໃຫ້ພໍ່ຟັງສະເໝີ. ຫົງແສງມີຄວາມຝັນຢາກເປັນໝໍ ແລະ ຢາກຮຽນໝໍເພື່ອຈະໄດ້ເອົາຄວາມຮູ້ທີ່ຕົວເອງຮຽນມາໄປຮັກສາຄົນອື່ນ ແລະ ຄົນໃນຄອບຄົວຕົວເອງໄດ້ “ສຳລັບພໍ່ເອງກໍ່ມີຄວາມພູມໃຈທີ່ລູກສາວພໍ່ໄດ້ມີຄວາມຕັ້ງໃຈໃນການຫຼີ້ນກິລາ ແລະ ຍັງໄດ້ຮຽນກ່ຽວກັບທັກສະຊີວິດໄປນຳເພື່ອເຮັດໃຫ້ລູກຂອງພໍ່ໄດ້ມີແຜນອະນາຄົດຂອງຕົວເອງແຕ່ຍັງນ້ອຍ. ອີກຢ່າງພໍ່ກໍ່ບໍ່ເຄີຍເຫັນວ່າກິລາໃດທີ່ມີການເອົາທັກສະຊີວີດມາສອນເຂົ້າໃນກິລາ ຫາກໍ່ເຫັນກິລາຣັກບີ້ນີ້ລະ ທີ່ສາມາດຮຽນກິລາໄປກັບການສອນທັກສະຊີວີດທີ່ສາມາດເອົາໄປນຳໃຊ້ໃນຊີວີດໄດ້”
ນອກນັ້ນພໍ່ຄຳຕັນກໍ່ເຄີຍໄດ້ມີໂອກາດໄປເບີ່ງລູກສາວຂອງລາວແຂ່ງຂັນຢູ່ທີ່ເດີນໂຮງຮຽນມັດທະຍົມສົມບູນ ທ່າງອນ , ເຊີ່ງໄດ້ມີການແຂ່ງຂັນລະດັບເມືອງທີມຂອງລູກສາວໄດ້ອັນດັບທີ 3 ເຖີງຈະບໍ່ໄດ້ທີ 1 ກໍ່ບໍ່ເປັນຫຍັງ ພໍ່ໄດ້ບອກລູກວ່າ “ບໍ່ເປັນຫຍັງເທື່ອໜ້າເອົາໃໝ່ ຍັງມີໂອກາດພັດທະນາ ແລະ ຝືກຊ້ອມອີກ ຕັ້ງໃຈຊ້ອມອີກ ເທື່ອຕໍ່ໄປຕ້ອງແມ່ນຂອງເຮົາ” ສຳລັບການແຂ່ງຂັນ ພໍ່ຄຳຕັນມີຄວາມຄິດເຫັນວ່າ “ການແຂ່ງຂັນນີ້ເປັນການແຂ່ງຂັນທີ່ດີເຮັດໃຫ້ລູກຂອງພໍ່ໄດ້ມີໂອກາດຮຽນຮູ້ກ່ຽວກັບຣັກບີ້ຫຼາຍຂື້ນ ແລະ ມັກທີ່ລູກມີຄວາມຕັ້ງໃຈໃນສີ່ງລູກເຮັດຢູ່ ສຳລັບພໍ່ເອງກໍ່ຊ່ວຍລູກເຕັມທີ່ໃນສີ່ງທີ່ລູກມັກ . ດຽວນີ້ພໍຄິດວ່າການທີ່ຜູ້ຍິງຫຼີ້ນກິລາມັນກໍ່ເປັນສິນລະປະອິກແບບໜຶ່ງທີ່ສາມາດເຮັດໃຫ້ຜູ້ຍິງມີຄວມແຂງແຮງຫຼາຍຂື້ນ. ສີ່ງທີ່ພໍ່ມັກໃນການແຂ່ງຂັນນີ້ແມ່ນຄວາມສາມັກຄີກັນຂອງຄົນໃນທີມ ແລະ ຄົນທີມອື່ນຄືຫຼັງຈາກແຂ່ງແລ້ວເຂົາເຈົ້າໄດ້ມີການຈັບມືກັນ, ຕັ້ງແຖວຮັບກັນອັນນີ້ເປັນສິ່ງທີ່ດີໃນການຫຼີ້ນກິລານີ້.” ສ່ວນພໍ່ຄຳຕັນກໍ່ສະໜັບສະໜູນລູກສາວຢູ່ແລ້ວບໍ່ວ່າລູກຢາກເຮັດຫຍັງພໍ່ກໍ່ຈະສະໜັບສະໝູນເຕັມທີ່ ຖ້າເປັນຄວາມຕ້ອງການຂອງລູກສາວ. ເພາະການທີ່ລູກຫຼີ້ນເຮັດໃຫ້ລູກແຂງແຮງ ແລ້ວຍັງຊ່ວຍໃຫ້ລູກຫ່າງໄກຈາກສີ່ງເສບຕິດອີກ. ເພາະເອົາເວລາທີ່ຫວ່າງໄປຫຼີ້ນກິລາເພື່ອບໍ່ໃຫ້ມີເວລາຫວ່າງໃຫ້ໄປຕິດໝູ່ທິບໍ່ດີ ແລະ ໄປເລາະຫຼີ້ນບ່ອນອື່ນ. ກິລາຣັກບີ້ບໍ່ໄດ້ພຽງແຕ່ສອນຣັກບີ້ແຕ່ຢ່າງດຽວ ຍັງສອນກ່ຽວກັບທັກສະຊີວີດໄປພ້ອມທີ່ສອນໃຫ້ຮູ້ເຖີງການບໍ່ປ້ອງກັນຕົນເອງບໍ່ຖືກໜູ່ຄົນອື່ນມາຕົວະໄປເຮັດສີ່ງທີ່ບໍ່ດີ ແລະ ຮູ້ເຖີງສີ່ງທີ່ບໍ່ດີຈາກສິ່ງເສບຕິດ ທີ່ສາມາດເຮັດໃຫ້ລູກສາວບໍ່ໄປຫຍຸ້ງກ່ຽວ ຫຼຶ ເດັກນ້ອຍຄົນອື່ນບໍ່ຄິດໄປຍຸ້ງກັບສິ່ງເສບຕິດ. ນອກຈາກນີ້ຍັງເຮັດໃຫ້ລູກໄດ້ມີໝູ່ຫຼາຍຄົນ ແລະ ໄດ້ເຫັນເຖິງຄວາມຕັ້ງໃຈຂອງລູກສາວຫຼາຍໃນການຫຼີ້ນກິລາ ພໍ່ກໍ່ຊ່ວຍເຫຼືອ, ສະໜັບສະໜູນລູກສາວຢ່າງສຸດໃຈ “ພໍ່ມີຄວາມພູມໃຈຫຼາຍທີ່ລູກຂອງພໍ່ໄດ້ເລືອກສີ່ງທີ່ດີໃຫ້ກັບຕົວເອງ ແລະ ບໍ່ໄດ້ໄປຍຸ້ງກ່ຽວກັບສີ່ງເສບຕິດ ຫຼື ໄປຕິດໝູ່ທີ່ບໍ່ດີ ແຕ່ເອົາເວລາວ່າງຈາກການຮຽນມາຫຼີ້ນກິລາ ພໍ່ສະໜັບສະໜູນຢ່າງສຸດໃຈໃນສີ່ງທີ່ລູກສາວໄດ້ເລືອກສີ່ງດີໆໃຫ້ກັບຕົວເອງແບບນີ້”
“ພໍ່ໄດ້ຄິດວ່າການທີ່ຜູ້ຍິງຫຼີ້ນກິລາມັນເປັນເລື່ອງທຳດາແລ້ວ ເພາະທຸກຄົນກໍ່ມີໂອກາດທີ່ຈະຫຼີ້ນກິລາໄດ້ຄຶກັນ ທຸກມື້ພໍ່ກໍ່ເຫັນຜູ້ຍິງຫຼີ້ນກິລາຫຼາຍຢູ່ແລ້ວ ແລະ ຜູ້ຍິງກໍ່ສາມາດເປັນຜູ້ນຳໄດ້ຄຶກັນບໍ່ວ່າຈະເປັນດ້ານກິລາ ຫຼຶ ດ້ານອື່ນໆ. ດຽວນີ້ຜູ້ຍິງກໍ່ແຂງແຮງໄດ້ຄຶກັບຜູ້ຊາຍຄຶກັນບໍ່ແມ່ນມີແຕ່ຝ່າຍດຽວທີ່ມີຄວາມແຂງແຮງ. ສຳລັບລູກສາວພໍ່ເອງຄິດວ່າລູກສາວສາມາດເປັນຜູ້ນຳໄດ້ເພາະການຮຽນທັກສະຊີວີດທີ່ເຮັດໃຫ້ລູກສາວໄດ້ຮຽນຮູ້ ພໍ່ຄິດວ່າດີທີ່ມີໂຄງການທີ່ເຂົ້າມາຊ່ວຍເດັກນ້ອຍເພື່ອພັດທະນາທັກສະໃນການເປັນຜູ້ນຳ ບໍ່ວ່າຈະເປັນໃນໂຮງຮຽນ ແລະ ນອກໂຮງຮຽນ. ລູກສາວຂອງພໍ່ມີຊີວີດດີຂື້ນ ເປັນເດັກນ້ອຍທີ່ຄຳຮູ້ ມີຍັງກໍ່ຊ່ວຍຄອບຄົວ ເຮັດວຽກເຮືອນທຸກຢ່າງແທນພໍ່ແມ່ໄດ້ ສາມາດເບີ່ງແຍງນ້ອງສາວຢູ່ບ້ານໄດ້ ມີເລື່ອງຍັງກະປືກສາພໍ່ແມ່ຕະຫຼອດບໍ່ວ່າຈະເປັນເລື່ອງຮຽນ, ເລື່ອງທີມຂອງຕົວເອງ ແລະ ເລືອງອື່ນໆທີ່ມີບັນຫາກໍ່ຍ້ອນໄດ້ຄວາມຮູ້ຈາກໂຄງການນີ້.”
ຜ່ານເລື່ອງຂອງພໍ່ຄຳຕັນເຫັນວ່າການທີ່ພໍ່ຄອຍສະໜັບສະໜູນລູກສາວມັນເປັນສີ່ງທີ່ດີສຳລັບລູກ ແລະ ພໍ່ ເພາະການທີ່ລູກໄດ້ມີຄວາມຮູ້ກ່ຽວກັບການວ່າງແຜນອະນາຄົດດ້ວຍຕົວເອງ ມັນເຮັດໃຫ້ພໍ່ແມ່ບໍ່ຕ້ອງກັງວົນວ່າລູກສາວຈະບໍ່ມີແຜນອະນາຄົດຕົວເອງ ເພາະລູກສາວຂອງລາວໄດ້ຮຽນຜ່ານຫຼັກສູດ ChildFund Pass It Back ມາແລ້ວຈິ່ງເຮັດໃຫ້ພໍ່ແມ່ມີຄວາມສະບາຍໃຈ. ນອກນັ້ນພໍ່ຄຳຕັນຍັງເຫັນລູກສາວເອົາເວລາຫວ່າງໄປໃຊ້ໃຫ້ເປັນປະໂຫຍດໂດຍການຫຼີ້ນກິລາບໍ່ໄປຕິດໝູ່ທີ່ບໍ່ດີ ແລະ ທຸກຄັ້ງທີ່ໄປຊ້ອມກໍ່ໄດ້ມີການບອກພໍ່ທຸກຄັ້ງ ເພື່ອທາງພໍ່ແມ່ບໍ່ເປັນຫ່ວງ. ອິກຢ່າງເປັນສີ່ງທີ່ໜ້າພູມໃຈຫຼາຍທີ່ພໍ່ຄຳຕັນໄດ້ມີການສະໜັບສະໜູນລູກສາວຢ່າງເຕັມທີ່ໃນການຫຼີ້ນກິລາ ແລະ ການຮຽນທັກສະຊີວິດ.
Mr. Khamtan is the father of Ms. Hongseng, who is 13 years old and plays for the Phueng Noy team at her school. Hongseng has played for two years now. Before she started playing rugby, she completed an application form for new players, and her parents signed a permission letter, showing that they understood and allowed Hongseng’s participation.
Mr. Khamtan said that “At first, I was scared that my daughter would get hurt because rugby is a violent sport, and the players hit each other so hard. However, my daughter told me that players only hit each other like that in tackle rugby. She asked my permission to play [tag rugby with ChildFund Pass It Back], and I decided to let her play. In the past, Hongseng played football and volleyball; when rugby recruitment started, she wanted to give it a try because it was a new sport for her. After Hongseng started playing rugby, she then told me that she liked practicing rugby, and that the coaches also taught her about life skills. After the training sessions, the players got to sit down together and discuss topics about planning for future, such as what you want to be when you grow up, what you want to study, and how to plan for the future.”
Mr. Khamtan and his daughter share everything with each other and when Hongseng has any issue, she always tells her father. Hongseng dreams of becoming a doctor in order to use her knowledge to heal others and her family. “For me as a father, I am proud that my daughter is willing to play sports and also learn life skills to help my daughter plan for her future at a very young age. I've never seen any sport that teaches life skills through sports – I have only seen rugby teach life skills like this".
In addition, Mr. Khamtan has had the opportunity to see his daughter compete in a district-level competition at Thangon Secondary School. Hongseng's team got 3rd place. “I think it’s fine even though she did not get 1st place, so I told her that ‘it’s ok, let’s try again next time. There is plenty of time for development and practice - just practice harder, so next time will be your turn.’” As for the competition, he said, "This was a good competition, and it gave my daughter more opportunities to learn about rugby. She really likes to play, and I support her to do what she enjoys. Now I think that playing sport is a tool that can make women stronger. What I liked most in this competition was the unity between teams. After the competition, they always shake hands. I think it’s a great part of playing this sport.”
Mr Khamtan supports his daughter, so no matter what his daughter wants to do, he will support her wholeheartedly. “Playing sport strengthens my daughter and it also helps her stay away from drugs. She uses her free time to play sports, so she avoids making bad friends or going to unsafe places. Not only does [ChildFund Pass It Back] teach rugby skills, it also teaches my daughter and the other players not to blame others, not to be fooled by other people into doing bad things, and to know that drugs can lead to addiction or getting sidetracked. Besides, it also helped my daughter make many friends, and I can see the determination of my daughter in playing sports. I support my daughter wholeheartedly and I'm very proud that my daughter makes good choices for herself and does not get involved with drugs or other bad influences. She takes time from studying to play sports and I completely support my daughter to make that choice."
"I think that it’s normal for women to play sports, because everyone has the opportunity to play sports together every day. I’ve seen women playing a lot of sports and I know that women can be leaders. Now, not only men are strong - women are strong too. For my daughter, I think that she can be a leader because of the skills she has learned. I think that there are programs that help children to develop leadership skills, whether at school or outside school. My daughter is a good child; she also helps the family do the housework instead of just the parents, so we can take care of her sister at home. When she has a problem, she always talks with us to support her about her schoolwork, her team, and any other issues. She has learned many skills from the program.”
The story of Mr. Khamtan shows that a father supporting his daughter is positive for both the daughter and the father. Honseng’s parents do not have to worry about their daughter not having future plans because their daughter has learned how to plan for her future through the ChildFund Pass It Back curriculum, which puts her parents at ease. In addition, Mr. Khamtan also sees his daughter utilizing her free time meaningfully by playing sport, not going out with bad friends, and telling her father every time she goes to practice so that her parents do not need to be worried. It is very beneficial that Mr. Khamtan fully supports his daughter in playing sports and learning life skills.